Love and Fear (Day 8)

‎"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.

- Anthony de Mello

I am thankful for the one who posted that quote.  Life is indeed an interplay of Love and Fear.  Those who are brave enough to stand up for the Love inside their hearts, will surely vanquish any kind of fear and obstacle on the path.

I have been evading Love in all its forms for the past few decades.  (Nope, I am not that old but being "disconnected" from The Source of Divine Love has made me seem older.)  I know it would seem abnormal to evade Love but for me, it become an art form.  I had been quite oblivious to the fact that I was only running away from it because I feared it.  I didn't want to be like the "others" who shamelessly swim in the pools of Love.  I didn't want to be like the rest of the crowd who just let Love rule over them and sometimes forgot to use their heads when making decisions.  I wanted to be different.  I wanted to be anti-Love.

Before the past year, I have never looked deeper within myself and never bothered to ask why I have become the monster I have turned myself into.  The answer was simple: FEAR.  I had so much fear in my heart, I never had the courage to acknowledge and accept the fact that I was only waging war against Love because I feared that I will not be able to get hold of myself whenever the time comes that I would choose to open my doors to it instead of block it.  I have always wanted to be "strong" and I wanted people to fear me so I don't have to put up with their mess.  It turned out that I was clearly the one I have been avoiding to come face to face with.  My defense mechanism was so lame I had to shut out myself from the greatest law and force of the universe: LOVE.

LOVE is the law.  Love is a verb.  Love conquers anything.  I have never accepted that until it was shoved into the deepest recesses of my soul that I am a being that thrives on Love.  Love brought me into existence, therefore Love will also help me survive.  I could keep ranting about my mini-awakening into Love but let's leave the rest for other days.

Love is the law, love under strong will.  Love is not bad.  Love is good.  Love is God.  Love is LOVE.

"O love that knoweth of no fear.
A love that sheds a joyous tear;
O love that makes me whole and free,
Such love shall keep and hallow me."